Random Thoughts for Friday 10/19/12

1. My cousin is getting married this weekend in NC and I can't wait to see her! I know this wedding is going to beautiful.

2. Our assistant put out a "hostess mix" of candy at the front desk. You know that butterscoth and mint mix your Grandma gets. When I asked her where the chocolate was, she told me it would melt. Last time I checked we worked inside a building that held a room temperature under 70 degrees.

3. I left the front door open for 3 hours yesterday before I left to go back out. Not sure why, but I sat and stared at it for 2 minutes wondering if someone had come through it. Don't ask!

4. I need to stop sleeping with the television on. I've had the weirdest dreams EVER! I gotta start listening to smooth jazz at night or something!

3. I logged into Myspace today....O_o

4. When I'm driving I try not to scream and curse people out, so I do it in my head...smh

5. Ummmmm...I forgot my bra at home today...Don't ask, don't ask! Just know...I'm good!

6. I was more transparent in my 20's. I would write a blog and would absolutely not care what I said as long as it was the truth. I had some doubts about putting #5 in this one. LOL My co-worker told me my chest looks like it's seizuring.

7. I get off work at 1pm. I'm going home to grab my momma, my bag and my bra...

Have a good weekend!!!!

Hope

When I have a lot on my mind I tend to get the urge to write....so, I'm writing. I'm not even sure where this blog is going, so if it's a bunch of rambling, I apologize in advance. This is really  just for me.

I've always been a believer that everything happens for a reason, at the appropriate time, place and with specific people. I've been one that has ALWAYS tried to grab a lesson out of the trials, tribulations or hurt that I may endure. I wrote down a quote I heard on November 13, 2011. I knew I wanted to write about it, but at the time had nothing to write about. So I kept it, and actually forgot about it until I decided to write this blog.

"Problems are always opportunities to learn. How would we learn anything without them"

For me, problems have always equaled lessons. Hoping not to make the same mistake more than once. When I pray, I always thank God for every trial that I have gone through. Every person he has taken out of my life (living) and everyone that he has put in my life. Although I may have not understood it while I was in the midst of my heartache...and it may not have even made sense when the heartache was gone. However at some point, the reason was always revealed.


So today, I am remembering everything that God has promised me. What could be more magnificent than that?!

I started this blog with tears in my eyes and a frown. And I finish with tears in my eyes and a smile.

Smiling and Simply Written :-)

Am I Happy With My Nappy?

Of course I'm happy with my natural hair...why wouldn't I be. So today, I log on to Facebook to see a comment from a friend on one of my pictures that says "My support goes out to you Sam. But are you happy with that?? I'm just saying!! You're beautiful regardless" My response to him was...Kevin, what do you mean am I happy with "that" of course I am. If I weren't I wouldn't be wearing it. I wasn't forced. It was a decision I decided to make and I wish I had made it sooner."

Now I knew that I was going to get different reactions from people, but I'm the type of person that really doesn't care what anyone thinks about me or the things I do one way or the other. I kind of pride myself on making my own decisions regardless if I have regrets or not in the end. But to ask me am I happy with "that". I will admit, I was a little offended. It was like, did he just call my hair “that”????? What exactly is “that”??? Maybe I read too much into the comment…….no I didn’t, it said exactly what I thought it meant.

Believe me cutting my hair and deciding to go natural was a decision that took years. I would start the process and then chicken out. This went on for quite some time. Until I decide that instead of getting a relaxer every six weeks, I would wait ten weeks. Ten weeks turned into 12 weeks and soon 12 weeks turned into six months. Before I knew it, I decided that I was just tired of getting my hair relaxed all together. And that's when I started to transition. I transitioned for about 10 months and just got tired of wearing weaves and braids and cut my hair on April 2, 2011. Now anyone that knows me, knows how obsessed I am when it comes to my hair. So cutting it off was a big accomplishment for me. Don't get me wrong...I'm still obsessed with it, but I have a greater respect for it now. Before, I didn't mind someone else doing my hair, now I know there is no one that can take care of it the way I can. She and I have a bond that cannot and will not be broken. LOL

Having natural hair is a bonding experience. Not with just your hair, but you learn a lot about yourself in the process. Getting rid of what society see's as beautiful and taking a risk at being, for lack of a better word "different” takes a lot of courage and self esteem. Don’t get me wrong, I love weaves and straight hair, I just don’t see it as being the right fit for me anymore.

I had another friend tell me that I was cute to be natural. Huh? So because I no longer have my own straight hair or a long weave you thought I wasn't going to be cute anymore? I couldn't even get mad. Because I 'm sure that is what a lot of people think. And then someone else told me that he likes long straight hair. Hahahahaha….well, I don’t have that…It will get longer, but it won’t be straight. The best compliment from a man came from my baby…He told me that I should have done it sooner. Not that I need his approval, but it is nice to know that he is definitely feeling my hair.

Being natural for me is not a fad, but in the search to find myself…I found that being 100% free of what society deems acceptable and doing the opposite…IS SO ME!! Yall know I’m a rebel. :-)

Simply Written

Validation....Who Needs It?

I know some of you may be saying that you don't need to be validated because (insert your reason here). But what does getting validation from the ones we love really mean? Have you ever tried to explain to someone how you feel or tell them exactly what you need from them, only to not be able to vocalize exactly what you mean? I can definitely say that I've been there.

The definition of Validate according to the dictionary is to make valid; substantiate; confirm

When validation comes from the person you love, you want them to show you how happy they are to see you, randomly tell you that they love you, a slight kiss on the forehead while you're watching TV together or even a text message to let you know you were being thought of. 

How can someone tell you that they enjoy spending time with you or love seeing you, but when they do see you, their face and demeanor aren't reflecting it? We go off emotions...yes, to tell someone is one thing, but actions do what? Yes, they do...they speak louder than words.

At the end of the day, it isn't about the time you spend together or saying I love you at the end of each phone call. It's all about how your eyes light up when you see each other, a smile, wink, kiss or hug. And yes, it goes both ways.

Communication is number one in a relationship, but validation is second runner up!

This is something I feel I have to work on as well. When you are dating someone, you emotionally feed off of each other. What one person isn't giving, eventually the other person will stop giving...it all becomes a domino effect...and eventually leads to more problems you probably would be better off without.

Sooooooo....your task for today you ask. Validate the one you love..STAMP IT!

Simply Validated....

It's Monday!!!

Well I can't say that I woke up this morning considering I've been up since 6pm  yesterday. However, I got out of my bed this morning and I just had that feeling that I'm going to live in the good moments of my life. I was watching Oprah last night and she stated that if you have $5 in your wallet and you are constantly focusing on the $15 you wish you had you will always be wishing. Instead focus on the $5 you currently have and work with that. Be grateful for what you have instead of hoping for something you don't have as of yet. It will only keep you down. And who wants to be down...not I!

I'm grateful I have today and when tomorrow comes, I'll be grateful to have tomorrow. I'm excited about the possibilities and the faith that I have and God is definitely working in my life. I'm a sinner and he LOVES me! I'm not perfect...I say the wrong things, I'm emotional, catch attitudes...and sometimes just don't feel like being bothered for not apparent reason. He understands me...how great is that. I get excited just thinking about how much He loves and I am absolutely in love with Him!

THE VISION IS CLEAR!

Gratefully and simply written....

*Blank Stare*

So after my phone conversation tonight, I felt the strong need to blog.This will be short and sweet..it may make sense and it may not...who knows!

Tonight I learned that you cannot make someone admit to something to make you feel better or to ease your mind about a situation. I believe that the only one that can heal your worry, doubt and anxiety is the Lord. Pray about it.

I don't like to be in the business of convincing anyone to believe anything that I say. If you come to me and ask me about a situation and I explain that it wasn't me and then you come back to me again basically asking me to admit it for your benefit or just to even want to talk about it. You probably won't get the same reaction from me that you got the first time. Because by then, I'm over it. I've lost interest in it and I'll basically let you talk about whatever it is you want to talk about and I won't say a word...if you do get something out of me...it's probably going to come off rude or insensitive. But when I'm over something...I'm completely over it.

I find it sad that ONE person can turn someone's life completely upside down. I find it even more sad that, that one person can make someone walk away from their family and their friends. That's when it's time to think about that persons value in your life...are they really worth it?

At this point...I'm not even sure what to think about it. What kind of worries me is that I don't care. Yikes! But really I don't. When I've emotionally moved on...I've moved on. Please don't think this about my dating life, because it isn't. This is about my family life...sad..yes...I know. *hanging head in shame*

It's easier to point the finger than it is to look in the mirror.

Be EASY!

Not thinking so complicated

Samica

Spiritual/Self Commitment

I felt like I needed to write something today, but wasn't sure exactly what I wanted to write.

This is one of my favorite songs...ENJOY!

I have been thinking lately about life and how things are just so unexpected. I have been asking myself if I'm really doing everything that God wants me to do and weather or not I'm following the right path. There are things that I have heard God's voice on that have yet to fully develop. I know that He is teaching me patience, because lord knows I don't have any. Just so happens over the last couple of days God has been telling me to let things happen as they are when it's right, I'll know. Don't worry, don't over think it and don't jump ahead.

I have vowed to put all of my focus on the Lord, myself and my goals. It's time to do what I feel like I need to do to get to where I need to be. How can I be committed to anything or anyone, when I can't stay committed to myself. Hey...I'm just being real.

Right now, I'm finding out what works for me....

I ask that each of you reading this prays for me as I start this journey towards spiritual/self commitment...

My Vow...

Lord, I commit myself to you. I know that I cannot get to the inner soul of myself without a stronger relationship with You. I promise to be persistent in my reading, praying, fasting and keeping the Sabbath. I ask that You not make this easy for me, but stay by my side as I maneuver through the temptation and doubt that I know will come. In Your name I ask all of these things. Amen!

Stay Blessed!